I am not one for astrology, but sometimes the movement of energy around us surprises me. In my life I value humility above all else. It’s a quality I strive for because of how positively it shapes your ability to learn, and the way you interact with the people and the world around you. Humility leads me to believe in a higher power. Whether you call this higher power “God” or “The Universe” or “Mother Nature,” there are times its movement can inspire a deep sense of awe in you. And I believe, as imperfect humans, we are meant to be in awe. There are things in this world that we do not know or understand, and being in awe is an appropriate response, even as we put forth great efforts to understand them.
Last night, Angie and I took a much needed break and went to the local brewery to play cribbage.
Angie had brought The Intuition Oracle – 52 Cards & Guidebook to Help Access Your Inner Wisdom, and we each drew a card. As higher powers would have it, I drew “The Benefactor,” which came with the following affirmation written on the backside:
I enjoy life now as I take steps to realize my new tomorrow.
Having stepped out of my professional career this past summer so I could be a support to my wife as she starts medical school in Grenada, this seemed like an affirmation I needed to hear. I have struggled with finding my purpose in this beautiful, yet oftentimes challenging place. The word “benefactor” also immediately resonated with me, I think because I’m stepping into a more supportive role toward Angie, and in many ways, I’m a benefactor of her being a student here at SGU.
For each card, there is a corresponding section in the guidebook that contains two parts: The Art of the Matter, which describes the image on the card, and The Heart of the Matter, which gets into its meaning for you. After considering my card and its affirmation, Angie had me look up “The Benefactor” in the guidebook and read what it said out loud.
The Art of the Matter
There is a lot going on in the card’s image, but the following parts are the ones that really spoke to me in my current state of transitioning to something new. The following is a summary of what I read.
The winged Egyptian figure in the center is an angelic messenger to tell you that:
you are on the right path and will have the opportunity to attain the goal you desire sooner, perhaps, than you thought you could.
The strange form of the angel is to remind you that opportunities also come in many forms. You need to:
allow your higher self to use its infinite creativity to bring you your goal in its own way and time.
The angel is carrying jewels in her basket. Just like jewels take time to form within the earth, so:
the goal you seek requires patience over time.
The scarab beetles in the border represent Khepera, the Egyptian Sun god:
who was so powerful that he rolled the ball of the Sun across the sky the way beetles rolled balls of dirt across the ground.
At the top of the card there is a bridge that is connecting the two moons, representing the passage of time within a month. They two symbols under the bridge are known as the Eye of Horus:
They are a strong reminder to do good deeds, for the quality of your reward will depend on the energy you put out now.
These images were powerful to me because they helped me to clearly visualize some of the negative emotions and mental blocks I’ve been feeling since coming to Grenada, and they also revealed a path for overcoming them. They helped confirm for me the need to put in daily effort to reach my goals, which are valid. These goals will come to fruition over time if I remain dedicated and patient — and I have time here to see them through, time I didn’t have in the past.
The Heart of the Matter
This section sums up some ideas to reflect on moving forward. The following is a summary of what I read for my card:
Sometimes everything is going just as it should be, even if it doesn’t appear that way on the surface and some of the problems you may be experiencing are really there for your own good.
(…)
Your greatest challenge now is to maintain a positive attitude when things do not appear to be going the way you want them to. All you must do is follow your heart, taking small steps forward on your path, and do what you know is right. Allow your intuition to work unfettered by the false belief that it is realistic to doubt yourself and your right to live a life of quality and meaning as you define it.
Again, there’s struggling for a positive attitude and the patience to see a thing through. By the time I had finished reading, I was weeping. Just full on weeping at a brewery in front of a cribbage board and my wife, as if I had just lost the game, which I had. In the whole stack of 52 cards, I don’t think I could have picked a card that better spoke to my current emotional state than “The Benefactor” card. I realized that I had been holding onto so many built-up insecurities and doubts inside of me. It was a cathartic moment and I’m humbly grateful to the higher power that brought it to me.
